Never, Ever Do This

I had emailed home a lengthier post that I had been working on at lunch, but I think I closed Outlook before the message was sent. So I’m in Plinkyland tonight.


So this is completely random, but it definitely fits the bill.

About a year into our marriage, Alissa and I adopted a cat from friends who had to give her up due to allergies. Well, shortly thereafter, our new family member developed ringworm. The vet advised us to give her a shower. And that’s where our story begins.

The cat’s previous owner said that she didn’t mind the water, and she had just let the cat share the shower with her. Well, somehow the job fell to me, so when the appointed time approached, I prepared to take the cat into the shower. The problem is that, where I assumed our friend had a shower with a door, we had a shower curtain leaving nothing to keep the cat from escaping.

Naturally, I took the only option available to me,and picking up the cat, held her up in front of the shower head as it ran at full blast.

She was not amused.

Fortunately, I had the presence of mind to hold the cat out a arms length, so her spread eagled limbs didn’t connect when she made known her objections to the proceedings. Likewise, her screams of outrage did not cause any neighbors to call the police.

How I got out of the situation a) without a scratch and b) with a cat that still loved me, I will never know. If there was ever a case of “don’t try this at home, this is it.”

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About Andrew

I'm a Christian, American, liberal, geeky, thoughtful, Northwest-transplanted Angeleno husband, father, and pundit who writes about anything he can think of.
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20 Responses to Never, Ever Do This

  1. Maxim says:

    If there is a more evil cat I sure haven’t met it.

  2. Angie Z. says:

    Holy smokes, you are one brave person! This makes “giving a cat a pill” sound like a stroll through the park.

  3. Eldon says:

    I had to look super hard to confirm that was a real cat. It’s so cute and wonderful looking (I mean scary)!


  4. underwhelmer says:

    Ughhh… I had to do this a few months back with my cat, who is roughly twenty pounds and stronger than most people. It did not end well for either of us…

  5. It takes 3 people to bath my cat. No lie. Luckily, no one has lost an arm……yet.

  6. Andrew says:

    Thanks for the comments everyone.

  7. katm says:

    Oye. I had more cat in the shower experiences than I care to remember. One went up the front of my tee shirt and down the back, ripping the shirt and leaving claw marks.

    I have a Turkish Angora who has very long hair. When she’s dry, you’d think she’s a normal to fat-ish cat. Just get her wet. She looks like a drown rat. LOL. She’s just come over and started meowing at me, giving me a look like “You better not be talking about me.”.


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  9. artstylelove says:

    Awww poor kitty. THat’s not good : ) I can’t imagine doing this to mine though, I wouldn’t survive to tell the story!

  10. Snort.

    The stock pic is priceless. I don’t care if that’s not your cat, I imagine the cat in the picture is channeling the outrage of your IRL cat.

    Sleep with one eye open!

  11. claudiacsn says:

    haha, I’ve had to wash all of our old pets when I was younger–cats were never fun, but I always felts washing them in a sink helped….. especially if your shower has no door!

  12. Jason says:

    My cat loves the shower. He’s super weird. He hops in every day.

  13. emilyadamiani says:

    I have also had the experience of giving a cat a bath. Let’s just say that I’m lucky that my arms weren’t torn to shreds and the shower curtain wasn’t torn to ribbons… 😉

  14. Mel says:

    Oh the joy of giving a cat a bath… My mom and I tried to shampoo 5 cats, outside with a hose, because they were full of fleas… Being outside was a good thing at first, until the other cats started to understand they were next and ran everywhere… Unlike you I ended up full of scratches and completely soaked.
    Yours seem to be quite mad ahaha! Be careful, she might wanna get revenge.

  15. The T says:

    oh my that is one pissed off animal…you couldn’t have captured a better moment…so love that shot!


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