Is Everybody Still Out There?

Is everybody still out there?

I don’t have a whole lot to say tonight.  I’m still battling a cold, and I’ve been joined by both kids.  Alissa was already there before hurting her ankle, so all in all it was a pretty low key day.  I did have an amusing rapture-related moment last night.  Everyone was in bed and I was browsing Netflix to see if I wanted to watch anything when the internet stopped working.  My diagnostics indicated that my wifi was working fine, but it was not connected to the internet.  The lights on my cable modem looked a bit weird, so I turned on the TV to see that it wasn’t getting a signal either.

Well, when you’re tired, sick and have been mocking predictions of impending doom all day, strange thoughts come to mind.  The more mundane were centered around whether I would need to replace my cable modem and how much that would cost.  I found some comfort when I was able to connect to an unsecured network in the area, but was unable to get to the internet from there either.

That’s when the truly weird stuff starts coming out of the haze.

Something’s happened.

Everyone’s on the internet trying to get answers.

The volume crashed Comcast.

What if all of Comcast got beamed up?

Can a corporation get raptured?

Does a corporation have an immortal soul? It would give new meaning to the term “corporate personhood.”

If so, and if I’m still here, does this mean I’ve totally misinterpreted Christian theology?

I don’t know if I truly got to a panic point, but I made a point of not checking my phone, installing Civ 4 on my computer and starting a game under the assumption that it was a simple cable outage. I must say, this is pretty irregular in my experience with Comcast, so the timing is amusing.  Before long, the cable did come back up.

The only question I have left is what kind of a journey my mind would have taken me on had I been attacking the cold with medication.


About Andrew

I'm a Christian, American, liberal, geeky, thoughtful, Northwest-transplanted Angeleno husband, father, and pundit who writes about anything he can think of.
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3 Responses to Is Everybody Still Out There?

  1. ComcastMike says:


    I apologize for the trouble. Are you still experiencing problems? Feel free to send us an email, and we will look into any issues. Please include your account phone number, contact number, and a link to this page. Have a great day!

    Best regards,
    National Customer Operations

  2. This post is hilarious. The comment above is terrifying.

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